I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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