Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
