where does the pee come out of this thing
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
