First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
