I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
