You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
