why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
