I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
