I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
