If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
