yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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