I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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