im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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