Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Someone shattered a urinal.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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