what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
