My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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