three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
