it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
