By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
