I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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