Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
