I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
