Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
