just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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