Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
