Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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