Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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