you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
