Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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