I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
