At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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