i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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