If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize