We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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