Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
