seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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