Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.