she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?