Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.