If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo