And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.