It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
