after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
