What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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