she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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