Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
