Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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