So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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