how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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