I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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