Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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