i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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