This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
