I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
