Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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