I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
