God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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