In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
how does that bad decision feel?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
