therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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