What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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