Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
