You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
