marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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