I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize