He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
