the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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